You just never know

You think that you have your life figured out.

You think that you will live happily ever after.

You think that those promises that are spoken to you are forever.....

And then the hard reality hits you and you realize that this is far from the truth. Those dreams are gone, the happy thoughts are crushed and the dreams are pulled out from under you. Where do you begin to rebuild a life that once seemed so happy but has turned into a nightmare right in front of your very eyes? What do you do when that one person has moved on and left you in the dust without thinking of how their actions have selfishly affected those around them?

Sure sometimes it seems like a great thing would be to retaliate, to yell and throw a fit and place blame on the person that has put you in this position in the first place. When I think more about this, one of the above would not accomplish anything nor would it make anything better in the long run.

James 1:2-4 states, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything".
Someone asked me once what this verse meant to me. I was not sure. Why should I be happy that I was suffering? Why should I have joy that I was facing the most difficult times in my life? My world had turned upside down and I was supposed to be happy? Yeah. Right.

As time has gone on I have finally discovered the real meaning behind this verse. When you think your world is gone and that life could not get worse, you have two choices. You can either give up and let the world win. Or you could fight back. You can turn to God to help you through one of the most difficult situations you have ever faced. As a believer, we are tested from time to time. Some of us more than others yes but we all face trials in our lives. The above two choices are the paths we must face in our walk with Him. We can walk away or we can cling to God for help. When we have those difficult moments and we choose to walk in faith, we are strengthening our walk. We are getting close to God while gaining strength with each passing day and learning to persevere through those hard times in our lives. This perseverance allows us to become complete and move on in life.

While the road has not been easy nor will it be from here on, I have chosen to fight. I chose to follow and cling to my faith. I have learned a lot about myself. I have learned a lot about others. I have learned a lot about the power of deceit and how it can bring you down. I have also learned about the power and love that God has for His children. He loves us more than we know, even in the tough times when we are wondering why we cannot see Him. Those are the times that he is the closest to us but is just waiting for us to reach out.... to touch Him.... to claim that we are His children and ask for help.

I have my ups and downs. I have my good days and my bad days. The thing is that I have already walked through some of the deepest, darkest days of my life. How much lower can things get?

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future".

A friend recently said that the word plans is plural. God does not just choose one path for our life. He has many and will see us through to the end. This kind of love is never ending and the kind that sounds pretty good when you have lost what you thought was the best thing in the world. Turns out that nothing compares to the love of our Heavenly Father.

I am not saying I am perfectly fine. I am not saying that life will continue without disruption. Certainly I am hurt and my level of trust has been severely compromised. It may take a while but I do hope to find that one person that I was really meant to be with instead of lied to for years before discovering the real truth behind his actions and words. Do I regret? No. I have learned a lot about myself and I gained a beautiful daughter in the process. I may not be the best mom but she is a blessing I will never take for granted. This is just the beginning for me. I have the chance to start over and live my life. You better believe I am going to take it.

Blessings,
Renee