Upon finding out my recent name change to Johnson, what is the first word out of people's mouths? "Congratulations!" I have to laugh to myself when I then have to explain that I did not get married but I undid a marriage. They are most often struck with awe and disbelief and some are embarrassed because they do not know what to say next. In their awkwardness I tell them that it is okay and that they can still say congratulations to me. It is a good thing and my life has gone on. They nervously look at me and say "ok" before changing the subject.
So what is it that makes people say Congratulations right off the bat? Because I am only 29 years old? Because most people at work had no clue and many have told me they never knew I was going through anything like this? Because that is what you assume? Obviously for those that know my maiden name, they realize the change that took place but I had been a Bellenir for over 8 years so my identity for most people in my circles now is just that. The change to Johnson has been strange. Signing my name a different way, answering to a different name and going to change my name on every piece of identification I have! Kind of a strange process but it feels good to be a Johnson again.
The moral of this story? Do not assume that a name change is due to marriage....... While I am fine with people make the honest mistake, I know there are others who have worse situations and do not like when that error is made.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
IHOP Trip!
So next weekend is already Memorial Day weekend. I cannot believe how fast the time has gone. I know I say that all the time but it is so true! I am going on a trip to IHOP in Kansas City. Now I know what many of you are thinking- why drive to IHOP for pancakes? No, not that IHOP- we are taking a trip to the International House Of Prayer (IHOP). I am so very excited for this trip. There are a handful of us going so far.
I am excited to spend time with friends, make new ones and above all... listen for God's voice and see what He has to say to me. Sometimes we get so busy in the everyday routine that we do not slow down and listen. I mean really listen. Stop. Take a moment. Pay attention and figure out what God wants to say to us. I just pray now that we would be protected as we travel and that we would all learn so much and take our own lessons away from the weekend. May He speak to us in ways we have never heard before while we discover what we need to over the long weekend.
Blessings,
Renee
I am excited to spend time with friends, make new ones and above all... listen for God's voice and see what He has to say to me. Sometimes we get so busy in the everyday routine that we do not slow down and listen. I mean really listen. Stop. Take a moment. Pay attention and figure out what God wants to say to us. I just pray now that we would be protected as we travel and that we would all learn so much and take our own lessons away from the weekend. May He speak to us in ways we have never heard before while we discover what we need to over the long weekend.
Blessings,
Renee
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Always time for uplifting
When you face difficult times in your life it is amazing how many people write you cards, send you notes or even devotional books that they themselves have found to be helpful in their past experiences. The following is an excerpt from a daily devotional book called "Streams in the desert" by L. B Cowman, updated by Jim Reimann.
May 27th: "Bring them here to me" (Matthew 14:18)
"Do you find yourself at this very moment surrounded with needs, and nearly overwhelmed with difficulties, trials and emergencies? Each of these is God's way of providing vessels for the Holy Spirit to fill. If you correctly understand their meaning, you will see them as opportunities for receiving new blessings and deliverance you can receive in no other way.
The Lord is saying to you, "Bring them here to me". Firmly hold the vessels before Him, in faith and in prayer. Remain still before Him, and stop your own restless working until He begins to work. Do nothing that He Himself has not commanded you to do. Allow God time to work and He surely will. Then the very trials that threatened to overcome you with discouragement and disaster will become God's opportunity to reveal His grace and glory in your life, in ways you have never known before."
This is a powerful passage from this particular day that really sticks with me. As humans we are so fast to panic and want to fix things right here and right now. Our patience and ability to wait for God and His timing is amazing. We think that we know what is best for us. We think that we have all the answers and therefore we think that we can fix our situations. However this is not the case at all. We must give it up to God and wait...... Wait for Him to speak to us...... Wait for His timing..... Wait for God.......
God knows the plan for our lives. The trials we face make us often wonder why God sends us down the paths that he does as we struggle through our own desires and frustrations when things do not work out. It is in this time that we must wait. For myself, patience is a difficult thing. I know what I want. I want a family. I want a career. I want more children. Will God bless me with these things? I am not sure...... It is with patience I must wait and seek His will for my life.
May 27th: "Bring them here to me" (Matthew 14:18)
"Do you find yourself at this very moment surrounded with needs, and nearly overwhelmed with difficulties, trials and emergencies? Each of these is God's way of providing vessels for the Holy Spirit to fill. If you correctly understand their meaning, you will see them as opportunities for receiving new blessings and deliverance you can receive in no other way.
The Lord is saying to you, "Bring them here to me". Firmly hold the vessels before Him, in faith and in prayer. Remain still before Him, and stop your own restless working until He begins to work. Do nothing that He Himself has not commanded you to do. Allow God time to work and He surely will. Then the very trials that threatened to overcome you with discouragement and disaster will become God's opportunity to reveal His grace and glory in your life, in ways you have never known before."
This is a powerful passage from this particular day that really sticks with me. As humans we are so fast to panic and want to fix things right here and right now. Our patience and ability to wait for God and His timing is amazing. We think that we know what is best for us. We think that we have all the answers and therefore we think that we can fix our situations. However this is not the case at all. We must give it up to God and wait...... Wait for Him to speak to us...... Wait for His timing..... Wait for God.......
God knows the plan for our lives. The trials we face make us often wonder why God sends us down the paths that he does as we struggle through our own desires and frustrations when things do not work out. It is in this time that we must wait. For myself, patience is a difficult thing. I know what I want. I want a family. I want a career. I want more children. Will God bless me with these things? I am not sure...... It is with patience I must wait and seek His will for my life.
Sunday already
I have made it to Sunday. Already it is Sunday after my surgery and I am contemplating whether or not to go back to work tomorrow. I am feeling okay but would definitely have to take things slow. My little also came home today and it is going to be hard to not be able to pick her up or play around with her like I usually do.
I am grateful for all of those that helped out- my little who went with her dad while I was laid up after surgery. And my parents who took me to the hospital, waited and then took me home to their house only to take over their room while I recovered for a few days before coming back home. It was strange coming home to an empty house only to realize there was no one there to take care of me. Not that I need someone at my beckon call but it is always nice to feel cared for and as though someone cares.
After a surgery getting back into the normal routine is hard. This is going to be tough as I realize that I need to slow down. I cannot lift anything too heavy or push myself too fast. If I do, I basically undo everything that was just done.
Ugh.... patience.... Ugh just waiting to see the plan that is laid out before me.... Ugh
I am grateful for all of those that helped out- my little who went with her dad while I was laid up after surgery. And my parents who took me to the hospital, waited and then took me home to their house only to take over their room while I recovered for a few days before coming back home. It was strange coming home to an empty house only to realize there was no one there to take care of me. Not that I need someone at my beckon call but it is always nice to feel cared for and as though someone cares.
After a surgery getting back into the normal routine is hard. This is going to be tough as I realize that I need to slow down. I cannot lift anything too heavy or push myself too fast. If I do, I basically undo everything that was just done.
Ugh.... patience.... Ugh just waiting to see the plan that is laid out before me.... Ugh
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Ramblings
Here I am again, up much too late for a work night. It is 11:23 PM on my computer clock. I remember when 10 seemed so late and yet I am seemingly into being much more of a night owl, which does not work so well when you work at a high school and your work day starts at 7:15.
I remember the days I would be in bed early. I remember the days I would not be in my bed alone. I remember the days that we would lay in bed and watch t.v. until we were ready to sleep. Yeah, those days are gone for me now. I hope to have them back again someday but only time will tell. I am also up late because I figure I am only working two days this week due to surgery so hey it is alright.... right? I am having surgery to repair a hernia in my stomach. Strange thing and I will be glad to get it taken care of and feel somewhat normal again. Funny thing is that I always said I was not feeling good because of the personal stuff I was experiencing but it was something medical. I guess I am not as crazy as I thought.
As I look towards this surgery it is strange though..... I should have my husband bringing me to the hospital and staying with me right? I should not have to be at home alone while I recover right? And yet I am..... Just another one of those I remember when moments.
Mother's Day was a little strange too. I hear stories of mother's being pampered by their husbands and kids doing nice things for them. Getting nice presents and a fun acknowledgment of what the day is. Not this year. Not for me anyways. Just another day in the routine. If it were not for the recognition with other mom's at church and the dinner with my parents then it would not have been acknowledged at all. I know I do not need to have someone celebrate me. I work hard and I know it and I do so because of how much I love my daughter. It is just yet another day in which I am reminded of where my path in life has taken me.
Not the path I would have chosen or the path that I thought I would find myself but nonetheless I am here. The hardest part? No one here really, I mean really knows. People try to offer support, and they do what they can but they cannot fathom what it is like. And more, I still feel like I get the disapproval from others...Those that have not walked in my shoes and yet, for some unknown reason, decide that they will not approve of the latest events in my life. I will not apologize as it is my life and I feel good about where I am and I will get through it. Then there are the ones that expect me to fall apart in their arms and cry about how awful life is. That is not the case. For one, I cry in front of very few people. And two, I have had two years to process this.... well whatever it is. It feels good to finally let go but also hard to realize there were years of lying that I was oblivious to.
Just some late night ramblings for you. I am not sure that anyone reads this blog anyways, and that is fine. It is a way for me to get words, thoughts and feelings out without having to go too far.
Blessings.
I remember the days I would be in bed early. I remember the days I would not be in my bed alone. I remember the days that we would lay in bed and watch t.v. until we were ready to sleep. Yeah, those days are gone for me now. I hope to have them back again someday but only time will tell. I am also up late because I figure I am only working two days this week due to surgery so hey it is alright.... right? I am having surgery to repair a hernia in my stomach. Strange thing and I will be glad to get it taken care of and feel somewhat normal again. Funny thing is that I always said I was not feeling good because of the personal stuff I was experiencing but it was something medical. I guess I am not as crazy as I thought.
As I look towards this surgery it is strange though..... I should have my husband bringing me to the hospital and staying with me right? I should not have to be at home alone while I recover right? And yet I am..... Just another one of those I remember when moments.
Mother's Day was a little strange too. I hear stories of mother's being pampered by their husbands and kids doing nice things for them. Getting nice presents and a fun acknowledgment of what the day is. Not this year. Not for me anyways. Just another day in the routine. If it were not for the recognition with other mom's at church and the dinner with my parents then it would not have been acknowledged at all. I know I do not need to have someone celebrate me. I work hard and I know it and I do so because of how much I love my daughter. It is just yet another day in which I am reminded of where my path in life has taken me.
Not the path I would have chosen or the path that I thought I would find myself but nonetheless I am here. The hardest part? No one here really, I mean really knows. People try to offer support, and they do what they can but they cannot fathom what it is like. And more, I still feel like I get the disapproval from others...Those that have not walked in my shoes and yet, for some unknown reason, decide that they will not approve of the latest events in my life. I will not apologize as it is my life and I feel good about where I am and I will get through it. Then there are the ones that expect me to fall apart in their arms and cry about how awful life is. That is not the case. For one, I cry in front of very few people. And two, I have had two years to process this.... well whatever it is. It feels good to finally let go but also hard to realize there were years of lying that I was oblivious to.
Just some late night ramblings for you. I am not sure that anyone reads this blog anyways, and that is fine. It is a way for me to get words, thoughts and feelings out without having to go too far.
Blessings.
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